The Power to Act

I went to high school with a guy that always reacted.  He was a talented football player.  In fact, he was pretty good at almost any sport I saw him play.  However, he could instantaneously turn from normal competitive to furiously enraged.  All it would take was a purposeful bump as they ran down the court, or "trash talk" said on the football field.  He would instantly react to his opponent, become infuriated, and soon after would do something that he'd regret, generally leading to a penalty or even leading to him being kicked out of the game.  Afterwards, he'd say things like "That idiot.  I hate him.  He thinks he's so cool.  I just want to punch him in the face."

My high school colleague was being controlled by his environment, specifically his opponent.  I knew that the other teams knew that if they "got inside his head" he would do something he'd regret.  They knew they could get him out of the game.  And so they would.  And he'd react.

To React

I've said a few times already that my friend reacted.  So, we need to define it, along with the antonym: act.  Let's start with react.  To react we choose to do what something else is telling us to do.  For example, my high school friend would do exactly what the other team wanted him to do.  They could basically control him because he would choose to react.  

We can react to just about anything, including our emotions.  If I feel tired, I might react to that feeling and be lazy or irritable.  If I feel frustrated, I might react by yelling at my family.  If I feel embarrassed, I might react by running away and hiding.

Reacting is based on the situation.  If the situation is saying I should steal something, then I could react by stealing.  If the situation points towards trying alcohol, then I could react by drinking.  

Reacting is based on following what the situation is dictating.  We choose to be controlled, or manipulated, by it.

Or we can choose to act.

To Act

To act, we choose to follow what we see as right.  We follow what our core--our most basic beliefs--decides is the right thing to do.  This one requires effort.  Reacting is easy.  Acting according to our core is harder.  However, the difference is huge.  When we choose to act, we take away the power that someone or something else has.  If my high school friend had decided to act--and not react--he could have taken the power that his opponents had over him and used it for himself and his team.  This could have changed his entire high school career.

This is one thing that sets us apart from the animals.  They only have the ability to react.  This can help with their survival, but it can also lead to their demise.  Human beings on the other hand have the ability to choose.  Steven R. Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, addresses this.

"Look at the word responsibility--"response-ability"--the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility.  They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior.  Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling."

Responding

If there is something we are absolutely forced to do in this life, it is to respond.  

We can't help it.  We have to respond.  However, that response is our own.  We control it.  We decide.  This means that we cannot blame outside sources for our decisions; rather, we need to see that we have the power to act.  This is what true integrity is: the choice to follow our core values and beliefs even when the situation isn't favorable.  We can choose to have integrity.  We can choose to say no to whatever outside influence is trying to control or manipulate our actions.  This is a God-given gift.  We have this power.  It's up to us to take advantage of it.

A Final Word - Addiction

Some choices are harder than others.  For example, my decision today to take a shower wasn't too difficult even though the couch was pretty comfortable.  But someone struggling with drug addiction, trying to not be controlled by the addiction is a much more difficult choice.  So does that person have the power right then to say no to the addiction?  Maybe, but maybe not.  However, the choice could be between trying to fight it alone (reacting) or going and finding help (acting).  Finding help is harder, but once again, we always have the power to choose.

I believe that choosing to act involves using all of our resources.  We are given friends and family, church and government, to help us choose to act.  It's up to us to do everything we can to be in control, and not be controlled.  If we ignore this, we will by default react, and thus be manipulated and controlled by outside sources.  We must choose to act.

The "Now" Principle and Finding a Career

We all have the choice to take care of something today, or to put it off until later.  We have the choice to do the harder things now in order to have an easier tomorrow.  I call this The "Now" Principle.  It is applicable in every area of life. It includes: 

• visualizing your future, 
• seeing a vision of what you are seeking, 
• planning the path to get there, 
• then taking action now.

It can be applied short- or long-term.  It can be applied in personal, family, career, religious, or secular areas of life.  It is a principle of action, but also a principle of personal change.  As we do things now, we will be now what we want to become in the future.  For example, if I want to be a "go-getter" I can start acting now on getting things going.  It will eventually become a habit, and suddenly I will be a "go-getter."  But this goal will never be realized if I see it as something I want to become, but never start the process of becoming.  The "Now" Principle helps us get on the road of becoming.

The "Now" Principle requires the principle of patience.  It doesn't say anything about getting the results now; only the actions are now.  Some of the best applications of The "Now" Principle have results that come years later.  However, when we act now there are a few immediate consequences.  These often include:

• confidence, especially in that you won't have regrets
• a feeling of self-respect
• new found skills
• a new, and better, perspective on life and situations.

I've met several individuals who have told me they just can't decide what to do for a career.  They are in college, searching for a major they really connect with.  They desperately want to make the right choice.  They switch majors when a class doesn't go well, deciding at times they just don't like that major.  They will look for other good sounding majors before the next semester as to not waste more time and money.  All this often will bring with it a good load of stress and anxiety.  So, what is to be done?

The "Now" Principle helps us in this regard.  If we act now, our tomorrow will be much easier.  In this situation, we can act now like we are what we think we want to become. Let's walk through it to see how it applies.

First, visualize the future.  Where are you going to be? What will be included in your life then? How far into the future are you visualizing? 2 months? 10 years?

Second, see a vision of what you are seeking.  What is our current idea of what we want to do for a career?  If it's being a doctor, then what are you doing as a doctor?  Picture the everyday stuff.  If this isn't possible for you to do, then research is necessary.  Visit a doctor, talk to one about his experiences, his day to day routine.  Look up experiences from doctors online, via blogs or medical associations' websites.  After this researching, are we still interested? If not, move on to another idea, such as statistician.

Third, plan the path to get there.  What needs to be done to become a doctor? What steps are in between?  Do not just focus on what a doctor does, but what a doctor is.  What kind of person will you be as a doctor? Will you be someone that wants to help individuals? Or someone that loves diagnosing and solving problems?  This step takes further research if you don't already know the path the law requires to become a doctor along with finding out the character traits and behavior of the type of doctor you want to become.

Fourth, act now.  If you want to be a doctor, start volunteering where doctors are.  Be around doctors.  Start to think like a doctor as much as you currently can so that you can begin to see the world like a doctor does. Become a doctor internally now, then be patient as the rest needs to unfold (such as medical school, residency, certification, etc.)  

This principle says if we act now like what we want to become, we will become it. We may adjust our vision as we grow and change, and as our circumstances change, but by applying The "Now" Principle we will be better able adjust to the change.  We will be able to handle the stress of change better, as we can quickly find the path we seek.  Direction amid chaos.

See the vision.  Find the path.  Then act now.

Constantly Rushing? Let's Change That

Counter-intuitive? Yes.  

Life is more rushed, more hectic, with always more to do; yet, don't we have tools to make things easier and quicker? Why does it feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do all that we are asked to do?

It comes down to our lack of ability to self-regulate. Self-regulation is essentially our ability to control our actions in spite of our internal conditions (emotions, mood, energy level) and external environment (our circumstances).  A study done by Laura Rabin, Joshua Fogel and Katherine Nutter-Upham of Brooklyn College of the City University of New York has shown that people that tended to be rushing struggled to self-regulate.  The study concluded that there were several associated characteristics to a low ability to self-regulate.  These characteristics included:

• Reduced agency
• Disorganization
• Poor impulse and emotional control
• Poor planning and goal setting
• Reduced use of meta-cognitive skills
• Distractibility

Can you see how these may reduce our ability to get things done, and done well? Even with all of our devices that are supposed to serve us and make us more efficient. (My opinion is that these devices have a "happy medium." If we rely on these devices we will struggle.  Same is true if we ignore them.  But if we find the middle ground, using them but not relying on them, we will find the greatest benefit.)

Each of these associated characteristics are things that we can learn to overcome; in other words, we aren't stuck as someone who is disorganized or someone who can't plan.

Although a person is prone to something, doesn't force them act accordingly.  For example, I am prone to make excuses which is related to the characteristic of reduced agency.  However, that doesn't mean that I am "an excuse-maker." I have the choice to make or not to make excuses.  So when we hear people say "this is just the way I am" they are really saying "I am prone to this and I haven't given any effort to improve myself."

Steven R. Covey called this ability "Proactivity." He stated that we aren't quite like the "pavlovian dogs" that drooled every time they heard a noise that they associated with food.  We have the ability to be aware of ourselves, of our feelings, moods, ideas, and thoughts.  This implies that when there is some sort of stimulus we don't have to react a certain way.

This is a fantastic principle.  A principle with some serious power.  We can choose to act by choice or react and respond the way the stimulus wants us to.  It is almost as though the "stimulus," whatever it may be, wants to control you.  If you are anything like me, I don't enjoy being controlled nor manipulated.  So when there's a circumstance that says you should react one way, take a step back and decide whether you want to be controlled by it, or if you want to control your own actions.

This is what Covey pointed out is our responsibility.  

"Look at the word responsibility--'response-ability'--the ability to choose your response.  Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling."

Acting, instead of reacting, is what will help make us able to better overcome the characteristics that keep us forever ineffective, always rushing, constantly wanting more hours in the day. Can we face that responsibility? If we do, we will improve our conditions, become happier, less stressed, and more in control.

How Do We Influence?

There is a story of two kids.  One kid was told by his mom that he couldn't have any cookies until after dinner.  He decided he couldn't wait, and when his mom was out of the room, he climbed up onto the counter where the cookie jar was.  As he got up, he knocked a cup over the edge and it broke.  The other kid saw his mom getting the table ready for dinner and decided to help.  He offered to help and his mom thanked him and gave him four cups to carry to the table.  On his way over, he tripped and dropped all four cups, breaking all of them.  Who should be punished?

Moral dilemmas are interesting.  We are asked a question about a situation like the one above.  In that situation there appears to be no winning side.  As we mentally and emotionally mature we are better able to think of these situations objectively, trying to find a possible "fair" solution, or if we try hard, a "win-win" solution.  We naturally will think about such things as what was done, who could get hurt and why.

This particular dilemma seems to have an easy answer.  However, for young kids, all they can perceive is that the second kid broke more cups and should therefore be punished, compared to the other who only broke one.  So what makes this seem so wrong to those of us that are more mature?  Intention.

Intention is all about our purpose in doing something.  Two people could do very similar things, yet be doing it for purposes on the opposite ends of the spectrum.  One could be doing it for fame and fortune; the other to help people and provide for family.  

However, intention always shows itself over time.  We cannot hide, at least not for long, our true desires.  They always come out.  We see and do according to who we are. And  our intentions--our desires--are central to who we are.  Thus, they will manifest themselves in the way we see the world, and the way we act and react.

So, then, what is the difference between persuasion and manipulation?  Are both bad? Good? Necessary evils? Both are essentially about influencing someone else's actions, perceptions, and attitude.  So what's the distinction between them? Once again, the difference can be seen in light of intention; the figurative core disparity between persuasion and manipulation.  

Persuasion has it's intention in the betterment of all involved.  The one being persuaded will be better off if they listen.  Manipulation is all about the betterment of the one doing the manipulating.  Persuasion desires one to make a clear choice, allowing for the other's use of free will.  Manipulation tries with its might to limit the other from perceiving the situation clearly.  Persuasion is a key skill in effective leadership.  Manipulation should have no place anywhere near leadership. 

The differences may be subtle, but the consequences over time are massive.  Persuasion leads to fiercely loyal friends, that will sacrifice for them.  Manipulation leaves one, eventually, utterly alone, for no one can trust them.  The reality is that we most likely have used both.  But the question is, which one do we rely on most?

We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.  --Aristotle

Are we, then, ultimately manipulative or persuasive?

                                                                 *Glass 1 by Andrew Magill

The Constant Struggle

Internal characteristics are what count in the long run.  

Why, then, do we not focus on these things more?  Why have we, as a society, gotten so stuck on the "quick-fix" solutions to our problems, and thereby choosing to ignore what really matters?

Take this example:  You have two options sitting in front of you, two birthday cakes actually.  Both seem good, but one is bigger and seems to have a bit more frosting.  This one draws you in and so you decide to try that one.  You grab a knife to slice a perfect, luscious piece and to your utter horror, as you put the knife in the frosting you hit cardboard.  This "cake," turns out, is only a cardboard box with frosting on it.  Why would someone do that? What a waste of perfectly good frosting!

This example is like a person with the right external behaviors--the right charm, the right smile, the right answers--but who lacks true character.  We may like, and even appreciate this type of person at first, but soon we realize that they are empty inside.  Nothing but a nice frosted shell.  These people have skills--techniques--that help in human interactions like communication skills, positive reactions, and even stylish dress.  Yet, they lack the most important ingredients--internalized principles.

This really is all about the battle between just doing and truly being.  Our character is who we are.  Skills are tools we possess.  

When we have become, then the right actions flow without our constant need to control them.  

This happens as we are empowered by our new character, and as our desire for things that won't lead us to true success diminishes.

How often do we fight a bad habit with some sort of distraction? We decide, if I just don't think about it, or if I make myself too busy, I'll avoid this bad habit.  This often leads us to feel overwhelmed and frustrated.  However, if we become someone who wouldn't want to do that bad habit, then the habit slowly withers without our constant need to avoid it.  In other words, if we focus on becoming better, by applying truth, then those annoying habits will leave as our desire for them disappears.

Focusing on our character, by searching out and applying true principles that have worked throughout history will do more for our success as a person, a professional, a parent, a sibling, and a friend, than any other solution we can find.

And that is what matters.

Empowering Principles

Truth is empowering.

Principles--the natural laws of reason--are what this power is all about.  It is the discovery, mastery, and integration of principles that bring power to individuals, families, and nations.  Without acknowledgement of these natural laws, we become frustrated and confused.  It is similar to trying to avoid acknowledging gravity.  If we fail to acknowledge it, we will become frustrated and other more serious consequences could follow such as physical injury and death.  Most would readily admit that it would be flat stupid to ignore gravity; yet, it is so easy to forget other important natural laws, especially when those laws have to do with human interactions.

When we properly use principles, they empower us.  The late Steven R. Covey, a noted scholar in the field of human interactions said:

"When these truths (or principles) are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations."

Interestingly, these truths aren't often accepted or taught in society.  Why?  The popular culture wants easy, quick-fix solutions.  Internalizing principles requires effort, takes time, and the consequences often show themselves on a more long-term basis. In other words, instead of just using techniques, we have to allow principles to become a part of us.

That is our first challenge.  Finding the desire, giving the effort, and internalizing long-term principles.  Our next puzzle piece will talk about differences between internal characteristics and external behaviors, and how these apply to using the empowering nature of principles.


Addressing An Argument Against the Eternal Unchanging Nature of Truth
Truth in and of itself is an interesting thing to talk about.  First, its often seen in today's popular culture as something that is solely relative; truth is only true for individuals, not for everyone and that it can change from time to time.

These theories and ideas are based on correlating truth with the application of a principle.   First, application is the way that a principle is put into action.  A single principle can have an infinite amount of applications based on situational factors.  This implies that what worked for me in one situation might not work for me in a different situation.  Steven R. Covey stated this about the application of principles (or "practices"):

"Principles are not practices.  A practice is a specific activity or action.  A practice that works in one circumstance will not necessarily work in another, as parents who have tried to raise a second child exactly like they did the first can readily attest."

Truth is still true even when the majority, or even all people, reject it.  Even when the people of the world thought they knew the world as flat, did that make the earth go flat?  Thank goodness for the eternal, unchanging nature of truth.

The Puzzle Pieces

I'll be honest.  I've never even thought about having a blog, until recently.  Yet, here I am.  Why?  I am in the midst of optimistically pursuing.  That is essentially it.  I want.  And desire.  True knowledge.

This isn't regular, random fact knowledge.  No.  That type of "knowledge," although true, is hardly applicable, nor special as all we need to do to find that is look it up on any computer or mobile device.  My pursuit is of knowledge that makes people, communities, and overall life satisfaction better.  My sources are both religious and secular.  It may seem like these don't mix well, but that only comes from seeing the issue at a superficial level.  My experience has shown me that both, together, gives a solid foundation of true knowledge.  One only need to dive deeper than the surface, and find the pieces of truth found therein.

I believe that when one is honestly searching for truth, they will eventually find it.

Truth is a composite of three things:

1. Doctrine (or the reason)

2. Principle (or the law or laws of the reason)

3. Facts (generally historical in nature, they describe simple "events").

Truth is independent, and yet interrelated with other truths.  That might seem impossible.  However, it is one of the most beautiful aspects of truth; and is one of the reasons I have been drawn into this pursuit.  All truth is tied together. It is like a puzzle, how each piece is independent yet connects perfectly to other pieces. This is possibly more obvious in the science of physics, where each new discovery fits perfectly with earlier ones.  E = mc^2 is a great example as the speed of light and mass is related to energy released during nuclear fission.  Seems far fetched that someone could figure out this relationship, but Einstein found this piece of truth. 

This is why I am writing.  I want to put that ultimate puzzle together. I know I won't find all the pieces, as the puzzle is too big to ever finish within a lifetime. But that won't stop me from trying.

As it has been my experience that when something new is learned, when pondered and written down, consider it remembered.  This blog is going to be a record of that journey.